Post by tinman on Sept 14, 2022 16:06:05 GMT -5
The Great and Mighty Heroic Adventure-Quest to Ungrumpy the Princess and Make Cookies.
Once Upon a time, there was a very grumpy Princess. She was having one of those days where nothing was quite right. She tried on all her pretty dresses, but none of them looked good on her, and she discovered that her favorite blue gown had a cranberry stain even though there was No Juice Allowed when she wore her Princess Clothes. All of her coloring books seemed boring, and she’d read all her story books, and when she tried to watch TV, her favorite anime was cancelled. She paced around her room, looking for things to be mad at. Finally she took a pillow off the bed, set it on the floor, and kicked it with all her might, making it fly across the room and shouting after it, “SO… THERE!!” That felt good, but made her feel silly, after, so she went and got the pillow, fixed some figures it had knocked over, and put it back on the bed, grumbling.
She tried to get out of her bad mood, but it got worse and worse. She felt trapped inside herself, and so lonely. Finally, she gathered all her stuffed animals and sat them in a circle and vented to all of them about how she felt. Then, she gathered them all up in her arms in a mighty hug, and cried on them until she fell asleep on the pile of stuffies on her bed.
Now, in case you come from some weird place where everyone doesn’t already know this, the tears of a Princess can sometimes be magic. That’s what happened that day. The tears that landed on those stuffed animals sank in, and slowly magicated them. And they woke up. Much more than stuffed animals usually can.
One by one, they extricated themselves from the pile and gathered- (it means “pulled out of”, just listen….) The six stuffies who got woken up assembled at the foot of the bed.
They were:
Mrs. Listonbaum, who was a very proper, respectable, and rather formal giraffe. 🦒
Sylvester, who was a shy, nervous, perpetually worried, hedgehog- (it means ‘always’. He worried all the time.). 🦔
Mr. Fuzziwick McFiddlesticks, who was a playful and rather silly monkey, prone to pulling pranks and teasing. 🐵
Horus the Hippo, who was, well, a hippo. Not very smart, often mean, hungry all the time. 🦛
Miss Terry Amazebeams, who was a unicorn, had magic powers, and was always nice to everyone. 🦄
And finally Linda Llewelyn, who was a llama, and, worse, a total drama-llama, who always caused problems spreading rumors and instigating arguments and hurt feelings. 🦙
“The Princess” said Mrs. Listonbaum in her regally upper-crust English accent, “is most distressingly disconsolate!”
“Did you see- (it means ‘very sad’, now, shush, people are trying to read this.) -what she did to that pillow?!” Linda asked no one in particular. Glancing at Sylvester she added, “She’ll probably start on us, next! Wonder who she’ll start with? I mean, Sylvester, probably, right?” She looked around for support for this position.
Sylvester curled up into a ball. “Oh, Stop that, Sylvester! Come out at once! We haven’t time for histrionics!” Said Mrs- (It means acting out. Shush.) Listonbaum.
“Don’t worry Sylvester,” Terry said. “The Princess loves us. She would never hurt us!” Miss Amazebeams stepped forward and, taking a long breath to gather her courage, said, “We have to fix it! We have to make the Princess happy, again! It’s up to us!”
The other stuffies stared at her in amazement.
“How can we do that?” Whispered Sylvester, unrolling just a little.
“We’ll go…. on a QUEST!” Miss Terry said, sounding resolute. (It means determined. Stop interrupting.)
“We can’t do THAT!” Linda said, horrified. “What if Princess wakes up and thinks we’re LOST?”
“What if we GET lost?” fretted Sylvester.
“What if we miss lunch?” Wondered Horus.
“It would be most irregular.” Scolded Mrs. Listonbaum.
“We simply MUST,” Amazebeams insisted. “Princess is UNHAPPY! She was CRYING!”
That cut the argument short. Everyone knew the unicorn was right. They had to go. And they all knew, they realized almost as one (Horus a bit more slowly), what the first step in that journey was.
A moment later, they stood in a line, peering over the precipice. They had all- (it means edge of a high place.) -all fallen off the bed at one time or another. It was one of the great hazards of life, for stuffies. It always hurt. Princess was careful, it didn’t happen a lot, but they all knew how it felt.
“Remember the time Fiddlesticks pushed you off, Horus?” Asked Linda, rehashing something from long ago just to make trouble.
“Ms. Linda,” said Mrs. Listonbaum sternly “I should think this mission will be quite perilous enough without interpersonal drama. Do leave off.”
“Terry only suggested this because she won’t get hurt!” Linda accused. “She can float down with her powers!”
“I will not float down.” Miss Terry said, firmly, “Linda’s right that that wouldn’t be fair, and we might need my powers more for something else later.”
“We might as well get it over with,” Horus said, and stepped off the edge. As he fell, he squealed with fright.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” worried Sylvester.
Fiddlesticks, suddenly pushing Sylvester off the bed, shouted “You’re welcome!” down after him, before leaping off, himself.
The three girls, wishing they had hands so they could hold hands, closed their eyes and stepped off the bed.
Laying on the floor, afterward, the animals looked at each other and slowly tried to get up.
“Is everyone okay?” asked Miss Amazebeams.
“That was not fun.” Grumped Horus.
“Well, now you and Sylvester have BOTH been pushed off the bed by Fiddlesticks.” Needled Linda.
“It was funny, though.” Explained Fuzziwick.
Dusting themselves off, the stuffies set off on a trek across the room. Princess wasn’t usually very messy, but today the debris of her discontent lay strewn- (unhappiness) -around the room. Stuff like coloring books could mostly just be walked on, but piles of clothes had to be gone around. Eventually they made it to the door, which was, thankfully, ajar. Between Horus’ strength and Fuzziwick’s ability to grab things, they got the opening big enough for all of them to slip through, one at a time. The hallway was smooth sailing, but then they came… to the stairs.
“The Stairs” was what people called a series of minor cliffs, each about as tall as an average stuffie. They were carpeted, but not particularly soft, and the amount of level floor between each one and the next was so short, a careless stuffie could easily tumble down all of them in a long, uncontrollable, roll.
Terry pointed with her horn to the laundry basket in the hallway. “Horus, help me push it to the edge.” She said.
“Oh, this is NOT a good plan!” fussed Sylvester.
Working as a team, the stuffed animals pushed and dragged the laundry basket until it was half hanging over the edge, then tipped it onto its side. Some laundry spilled out. They climbed into the big comfy pile that remained and leaned against the bottom to tip it upright again.
“Everyone ready?!” Amazebeams asked.
“Definitely not.” said Linda.
“I wanna go home.” said Sylvester.
“I’m hungry.” said Horus. The animals all stepped to the side of the basket hanging over the edge and with the shift of their weight it tipped….
Tipped…
Slid! Slowly at first, but gathering speed like a toboggan of softness, hurtling down stairs out of control.
At the bottom, it skidded across the entry way and smacked into the front door. The stuffies were all tumbled up in the clothes, like they were in the dryer.
“Mmph-Nmph!” Exclaimed Fuzziwick, because Horus was sitting on his head.
The animals disentangled themselves and lined up at the side of the basket and pushed it over dumping themselves out with the laundry, and began the long, arduous trek to the kitchen.
When they finally arrived, Mr. Fiddlesticks mounted Terry, who carefully climbed up on Horus’ back, enabling them to pull the refrigerator open so that the Fuzziwick could climb inside.
A few minutes later, the shivering stuffed monkey rolled a tube of double-chocolate chip cookie dough to the edge of the shelf and let it fall.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some unknowable amount of time later, Daddy arrived home to find laundry strewn everywhere in the house, the oven left on, a dirty baking sheet in the sink, and Princess snoring happily in a nest of beloved stuffies, an empty glass with milk residue and a plate of cookie crumbs on her night stand.
“This is going to be one heck of a story”, he thought, waking Princess up for her spanking.
Princess cried and wailed and kicked her feet while she was being spanked, but afterwards he cuddled her and petted her and told her he loved her and wasn’t mad at her, while she sat on his lap hugging Miss Terry and sucking her thumb.
And then The Princess wasn’t grumpy at all, any more.
Once Upon a time, there was a very grumpy Princess. She was having one of those days where nothing was quite right. She tried on all her pretty dresses, but none of them looked good on her, and she discovered that her favorite blue gown had a cranberry stain even though there was No Juice Allowed when she wore her Princess Clothes. All of her coloring books seemed boring, and she’d read all her story books, and when she tried to watch TV, her favorite anime was cancelled. She paced around her room, looking for things to be mad at. Finally she took a pillow off the bed, set it on the floor, and kicked it with all her might, making it fly across the room and shouting after it, “SO… THERE!!” That felt good, but made her feel silly, after, so she went and got the pillow, fixed some figures it had knocked over, and put it back on the bed, grumbling.
She tried to get out of her bad mood, but it got worse and worse. She felt trapped inside herself, and so lonely. Finally, she gathered all her stuffed animals and sat them in a circle and vented to all of them about how she felt. Then, she gathered them all up in her arms in a mighty hug, and cried on them until she fell asleep on the pile of stuffies on her bed.
Now, in case you come from some weird place where everyone doesn’t already know this, the tears of a Princess can sometimes be magic. That’s what happened that day. The tears that landed on those stuffed animals sank in, and slowly magicated them. And they woke up. Much more than stuffed animals usually can.
One by one, they extricated themselves from the pile and gathered- (it means “pulled out of”, just listen….) The six stuffies who got woken up assembled at the foot of the bed.
They were:
Mrs. Listonbaum, who was a very proper, respectable, and rather formal giraffe. 🦒
Sylvester, who was a shy, nervous, perpetually worried, hedgehog- (it means ‘always’. He worried all the time.). 🦔
Mr. Fuzziwick McFiddlesticks, who was a playful and rather silly monkey, prone to pulling pranks and teasing. 🐵
Horus the Hippo, who was, well, a hippo. Not very smart, often mean, hungry all the time. 🦛
Miss Terry Amazebeams, who was a unicorn, had magic powers, and was always nice to everyone. 🦄
And finally Linda Llewelyn, who was a llama, and, worse, a total drama-llama, who always caused problems spreading rumors and instigating arguments and hurt feelings. 🦙
“The Princess” said Mrs. Listonbaum in her regally upper-crust English accent, “is most distressingly disconsolate!”
“Did you see- (it means ‘very sad’, now, shush, people are trying to read this.) -what she did to that pillow?!” Linda asked no one in particular. Glancing at Sylvester she added, “She’ll probably start on us, next! Wonder who she’ll start with? I mean, Sylvester, probably, right?” She looked around for support for this position.
Sylvester curled up into a ball. “Oh, Stop that, Sylvester! Come out at once! We haven’t time for histrionics!” Said Mrs- (It means acting out. Shush.) Listonbaum.
“Don’t worry Sylvester,” Terry said. “The Princess loves us. She would never hurt us!” Miss Amazebeams stepped forward and, taking a long breath to gather her courage, said, “We have to fix it! We have to make the Princess happy, again! It’s up to us!”
The other stuffies stared at her in amazement.
“How can we do that?” Whispered Sylvester, unrolling just a little.
“We’ll go…. on a QUEST!” Miss Terry said, sounding resolute. (It means determined. Stop interrupting.)
“We can’t do THAT!” Linda said, horrified. “What if Princess wakes up and thinks we’re LOST?”
“What if we GET lost?” fretted Sylvester.
“What if we miss lunch?” Wondered Horus.
“It would be most irregular.” Scolded Mrs. Listonbaum.
“We simply MUST,” Amazebeams insisted. “Princess is UNHAPPY! She was CRYING!”
That cut the argument short. Everyone knew the unicorn was right. They had to go. And they all knew, they realized almost as one (Horus a bit more slowly), what the first step in that journey was.
A moment later, they stood in a line, peering over the precipice. They had all- (it means edge of a high place.) -all fallen off the bed at one time or another. It was one of the great hazards of life, for stuffies. It always hurt. Princess was careful, it didn’t happen a lot, but they all knew how it felt.
“Remember the time Fiddlesticks pushed you off, Horus?” Asked Linda, rehashing something from long ago just to make trouble.
“Ms. Linda,” said Mrs. Listonbaum sternly “I should think this mission will be quite perilous enough without interpersonal drama. Do leave off.”
“Terry only suggested this because she won’t get hurt!” Linda accused. “She can float down with her powers!”
“I will not float down.” Miss Terry said, firmly, “Linda’s right that that wouldn’t be fair, and we might need my powers more for something else later.”
“We might as well get it over with,” Horus said, and stepped off the edge. As he fell, he squealed with fright.
“I don’t know if I can do it,” worried Sylvester.
Fiddlesticks, suddenly pushing Sylvester off the bed, shouted “You’re welcome!” down after him, before leaping off, himself.
The three girls, wishing they had hands so they could hold hands, closed their eyes and stepped off the bed.
Laying on the floor, afterward, the animals looked at each other and slowly tried to get up.
“Is everyone okay?” asked Miss Amazebeams.
“That was not fun.” Grumped Horus.
“Well, now you and Sylvester have BOTH been pushed off the bed by Fiddlesticks.” Needled Linda.
“It was funny, though.” Explained Fuzziwick.
Dusting themselves off, the stuffies set off on a trek across the room. Princess wasn’t usually very messy, but today the debris of her discontent lay strewn- (unhappiness) -around the room. Stuff like coloring books could mostly just be walked on, but piles of clothes had to be gone around. Eventually they made it to the door, which was, thankfully, ajar. Between Horus’ strength and Fuzziwick’s ability to grab things, they got the opening big enough for all of them to slip through, one at a time. The hallway was smooth sailing, but then they came… to the stairs.
“The Stairs” was what people called a series of minor cliffs, each about as tall as an average stuffie. They were carpeted, but not particularly soft, and the amount of level floor between each one and the next was so short, a careless stuffie could easily tumble down all of them in a long, uncontrollable, roll.
Terry pointed with her horn to the laundry basket in the hallway. “Horus, help me push it to the edge.” She said.
“Oh, this is NOT a good plan!” fussed Sylvester.
Working as a team, the stuffed animals pushed and dragged the laundry basket until it was half hanging over the edge, then tipped it onto its side. Some laundry spilled out. They climbed into the big comfy pile that remained and leaned against the bottom to tip it upright again.
“Everyone ready?!” Amazebeams asked.
“Definitely not.” said Linda.
“I wanna go home.” said Sylvester.
“I’m hungry.” said Horus. The animals all stepped to the side of the basket hanging over the edge and with the shift of their weight it tipped….
Tipped…
Slid! Slowly at first, but gathering speed like a toboggan of softness, hurtling down stairs out of control.
At the bottom, it skidded across the entry way and smacked into the front door. The stuffies were all tumbled up in the clothes, like they were in the dryer.
“Mmph-Nmph!” Exclaimed Fuzziwick, because Horus was sitting on his head.
The animals disentangled themselves and lined up at the side of the basket and pushed it over dumping themselves out with the laundry, and began the long, arduous trek to the kitchen.
When they finally arrived, Mr. Fiddlesticks mounted Terry, who carefully climbed up on Horus’ back, enabling them to pull the refrigerator open so that the Fuzziwick could climb inside.
A few minutes later, the shivering stuffed monkey rolled a tube of double-chocolate chip cookie dough to the edge of the shelf and let it fall.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Some unknowable amount of time later, Daddy arrived home to find laundry strewn everywhere in the house, the oven left on, a dirty baking sheet in the sink, and Princess snoring happily in a nest of beloved stuffies, an empty glass with milk residue and a plate of cookie crumbs on her night stand.
“This is going to be one heck of a story”, he thought, waking Princess up for her spanking.
Princess cried and wailed and kicked her feet while she was being spanked, but afterwards he cuddled her and petted her and told her he loved her and wasn’t mad at her, while she sat on his lap hugging Miss Terry and sucking her thumb.
And then The Princess wasn’t grumpy at all, any more.
OMG Tin it's so good I loved it <3 <3 I smiled so big
I like how you even fit in the Unicorn Miss Terry .... DIBS SHES MEINZ
me tooooo
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