tinman
Moderator 
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 11, 2022 17:58:16 GMT -5
 This is the advice column of Lefty Beaumont, The Cat. Advice is offered freely to, and questions answered for, both cats and their human servants. Please specify, when asking a question, whether you’re asking as a cat or a human. First piece of advice- Cats, when your human is petting the flat, hard, screen thing, but they SHOULD be petting you, position yourself between them and the screen. Move as often as necessary but STAY between them and that screen. You are entitled to be petted. Demand your rights! |
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 12, 2022 9:23:20 GMT -5
Tip of the day: If you see your human eating potato chips, lay down on top of the bag. This communicates dominance.
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Smirkin
Administrator 
RaWr I'm gonna EAT you
Posts: 428 
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Post by Smirkin on Sept 12, 2022 9:35:59 GMT -5
*lays on top of tinny's bag of chips*
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 12, 2022 10:08:22 GMT -5
*sighs tolerantly and pets Smirkin.*
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Smirkin
Administrator
RaWr I'm gonna EAT you
Posts: 428
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Post by Smirkin on Sept 12, 2022 10:40:15 GMT -5
*the universe tells you to feed me chips*
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 12, 2022 13:00:35 GMT -5
I can’t feed you chips, Smirkin. You’re laying on top of the bag.
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Post by pinkwarkitten14 on Sept 13, 2022 1:44:53 GMT -5
obtain additional chips  |
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 13, 2022 5:30:26 GMT -5
Tip of the Day: Sometimes a hiss is not enough. God gave you claws for a reason. Sometimes… you just gotta scratch a bitch.
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Post by pinkwarkitten14 on Sept 13, 2022 13:51:38 GMT -5
(cat asking)
Dear Lefty,
My parents only feed me wet food once a day and that's not nearly enough (even though I have access to the dry nothing food: kibble, all the time) and I'm practically starving by the time they wake up, and I meow at them all morning until daddy finally comes out and FEEDS ME. How do I get them to give me more real food - the good stuff?
Also how do I get them and my grandma to stop narrating everything I do?
Thanks in advance for your advice,
Waiting for Wetfood 
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 13, 2022 15:13:53 GMT -5
Dear Waiting, I struggle with this, too. My human is kinda dumb. He only gives me good wet food once a day, too. Also, he never believes me when I say it is dinner time, always pointing to dumb screen thing and saying it is not. Also, sometimes he refuses to put new kibble in my bowl, expecting me to eat day old kibble, like a stray. Sigh. We put up with a lot from our humans, because they clean up our poop and we cannot work the can opener. Your best chance for more food is to demonstrate your starvitude by getting into the trash and throwing everything out, looking for food. May not work, but it’s cathartic. Best wishes, Lefty. pinkwarkitten14 |
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Smirkin
Administrator
RaWr I'm gonna EAT you
Posts: 428
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Post by Smirkin on Sept 13, 2022 15:18:43 GMT -5
Dear Lefty… I am hooman… but I feel I could get help from you… Cats especially are good at getting affection and head pats and I too crave affection and head pats and feel I am not getting enough. How does one fix this problem without crawling on random people eating potato chips. Thanks, This Hooman  |
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 13, 2022 15:36:16 GMT -5
Hi, Hoomin,
First, great question. Everyone wants more attention and pets. Don’t be afraid to initiate. If someone seems nice, go ahead and plop in their lap, or give them a nuzzle. I like to come up to my human when he’s playing with stoopid screen thing and pat him with a paw to let him know I need something, then wait for him to figure out what I need. He’s bad at it, but it’s fun to watch him try. Also, go outside and roll in dirt and leaves and then come back in the house. Your human (or, another human, I guess) will have to brush you off, and this leads to pets.
Good Luck, Hoomin!
Lefty Beaumont
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 14, 2022 11:53:30 GMT -5
Tip of the day: Into every Kitty’s life, there intrudes a little vomit. When you have to puke, whether it’s a hair ball, some grass you ate, or some tuna you found in the trash, make it easy for your human to clean up by doing it somewhere they’re sure to find it right away, like on the bed, or in one of those soft shoes he wears in the morning, to go stand under falling water like an insane person.
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 15, 2022 13:13:50 GMT -5
Tip of the day: Don’t try to climb your human’s leg unless they’re wearing pants. It doesn’t work as well and makes them really loud.
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tinman
Moderator
Free Hugs. (Not responsible for gropage)
Posts: 306
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Post by tinman on Sept 16, 2022 14:14:04 GMT -5
Tip of the day- When startled, don’t wait around trying to figure out what startled you and whether or not it’s really a threat. Move INSTANTLY and sprint directly to your nearest safe cave. THEN peek out to see what the noise or sudden motion was.
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